Grit and Gratitude

May 22, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I read an article recently that compares the hero’s journey to our own journeys when we are attempting to reach a compelling goal. We start off with a seemingly insurmountable task, need to slay many dragons along the way (or pirates, as I like to call them), the tension mounts as we get closer, we feel defeated and want to give up at regular intervals, but we persevere until we reach our goals. I have linked to the full article below.

The hero’s journey, when put that way, sure feels familiar. I have stretched myself more than I could have ever imagined over the last couple of years. First, I set out as a non-sailor on a sailing adventure with my family, experiencing both physical and emotional discomforts along the way. I consistently slayed my pirates along the entire journey. Now that it’s over, I look back and realize that I accomplished my goal and got past my pirates by simply persevering because of a compelling goal in mind.  I just had to do it. I stood with my grit.

My latest stretch has been writing my first book, getting it published, and now launching it on June 4. I have slain many pirates along this path as well, and I continue to do so. Although I believe with every ounce of faith that my message is one that needs to be heard, my pirates are shouting: What if the book is an absolute disaster? What if no one cares what I have to say? What if the writing is terrible and readers don’t even get far enough to hear my message?

I will stand by my grit knowing that I am on the hero’s journey of life, with my own compelling goal being this: I must be heard. I must share what I know to be true.  My book’s message:  You must learn to slay your own pirates if you are to reach your own compelling goals.

My grit got me endorsements from big names (Neal Petersen, Diane Selkirk, Joanna Strober, and Brian Tracy), and a sponsorship from Pirates Booty for Book Expo America (where I will be autographing at booth #377 on May 30 and 31 and handing out over 500 snack bags of Pirate’s Booty!). With my compelling goal as my backdrop, I achieve little successes along the way, until I get to the end of this particular story.

But it’s not just the grit.  I could not have done what I’ve done without the kindness and generosity of those who have helped me along the way, like my book endorsers and my sponsor. It has me believe in the genuine goodness of people and the willingness of most to help others out. I am so grateful that so many have willingly helped me along the way.

I realize that it’s also gratitude that keeps me slaying pirates. My family has been on the journey with me. I have many friends who have regularly asked me how it was going and gave me encouragement and support daily. And I’m grateful for getting to do what I love.

Where to go from here on my own hero’s journey? Once a goal has been reached, we are changed for good. We have grown, and become bolder to take on the next challenge.

Read the full article referred to above:  http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/.

Filed Under: Change, Goal-Setting, Motivation, My Book, Success Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Who’s Your Pirate – Part II

April 29, 2013 by Leave a Comment

How you navigate your Pirates, the negative self-talk that stands between you and your dreams, is key to reaching your goals. The first step, however, is to identify which Pirates have latched onto you. While there are many excuses that our Pirates give us to maintain the status quo, all can generally fit within one of the following five categories:

1. That’s just the way it is or that’s just the way it’s done. As in: You’re stuck here. There’s a real sense of struggle and sacrifice in this mantra. It’s full of martyrdom. It makes you a victim of your circumstances. And it’s saying: Who are you to think that things could be different? You’re not special. Nor are you lucky, like all the really successful people who actually live their dreams.

2. You don’t have enough. As in: You don’t have enough time for this, especially not now. You don’t have the resources, the knowledge, the wherewithal, the money, the support. While the successful people have all those things, it’s unrealistic to think you’ll ever get them.

3. You’re not enough. As in: You’re not smart enough (or as smart as all those other successful people are). You’re not good enough to do this. You especially are not entitled to this. What have you done to deserve this? You are simply not worthy enough and besides, you’re already not successful enough. Who are you to think anyone will listen to you? Or go along with you?

4. You shouldn’t. As in: You are so selfish for wanting this. Your family (or your boss, or the organization, or someone or something else) needs you, and you’d be letting them down. They are relying on you, and you are a terrible person for abandoning them.

5. Your dream is just too insignificant to matter. As in: There are far greater issues facing this planet (like starving kids in Africa). Who are you to think your dream is important? You are so self-absorbed for wanting such a ridiculous thing.

I am willing to bet that one of those Pirate voices shows up in your head to insist that you have no right to be making a change. It keeps us in the status-quo, and therefore, to a certain extent, our Pirates protect us — from failure and discomfort. While it keeps us comfortable, however, it tricks us into thinking that we should not or could not do what we really want to do.

Which Pirate or Pirates show up most in your life? What have those Pirates stopped you from doing? What are those Pirates costing you?

Filed Under: Change, Goal-Setting, My Book, Success Tagged With: , , , ,

Who’s Your Pirate?

April 23, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I am a firm believer that perhaps the single most important factor that stands between you and your dreams, your real resonant successes and what you really, really want in life, is your Pirates. We all have them. They will be with us until the day we die. So who are they??

Our personal Pirates are those subversive, whispering voices that sabotage our most exciting and compelling plans over and over again. They are so subtle, yet so part of who we’ve been that we think they are part of our personal truth. Our Pirates seem to attack our psyche just as we approach doing something that takes our breath away, and work harder and harder to hinder our efforts as we get closer and closer to taking the leap. The result: Our Pirates separate us from being our truest, highest and best selves.

Your Pirates will be with you for the rest of your life. Whatever they are saying to you, they are indeed saving you from failure. But at the same time, they are also “saving” you from living your life as you were meant to be living it.

What are your Pirates saying to you? I’d love to hear from you.

Filed Under: Change, Goal-Setting, Success Tagged With: , , , , ,

How Did You Get Here?

February 27, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Have you ever found yourself in a place where  you never thought you’d be?  Over my lifetime, I’ve asked myself several times, “How did I get here?”  Sometimes, it wasn’t a good thing either – like when I realized I’d been practicing law for nearly ten years and felt no passion for it. Sometimes, though, I’ve posed the question out of a sense of awe – like when I was crossing the equator on a boat with my family in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a three-week passage. We were fulfilling a dream, doing things we never believed we could carry off, and were in the exact place we wanted to be at that moment. It is these times, obviously, that we need to be striving for.  It is that sense of awe and purpose that fuels us to be the best we can be.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines the emotion of passion as “an intense, driving feeling or conviction”. By definition, then, your passion inspires you to act.  In May 2010, Simon Sinek delivered a TED talk that very convincingly demonstrates the way to inspire leadership is to find people who have passion for what they are doing. And it’s not surprising that the premier management consulting firm, McKinsey&Company, recently came out with a study evidencing peak performance and job satisfaction when an employee at any level finds meaning in his or her work.

These are consistent with one of my favorite inspirational quotes that comes from an ancient yoga theorist, Pantaljali: “When you are inspired… dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

Change begins from within, from that place of passion and purpose and cause. Once you find it, you begin to live intentionally. You are making conscious intentional decisions about your life – which leads to a life lived on purpose, performing at your peak. So much more is possible from this place.

Regardless of how you got here, whether you’re in a good place or one not so great, find your inspiration, meaning and passion in what you do.  And from that naturally comes more inspiration, meaning and passion. I’ll meet you there.

 

Filed Under: Change, Motivation, passion, Success Tagged With: , , , ,

The Power of Change

November 30, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I am relaunching my Coaching practice after being away from it for 3 years, having taken almost 2 and a half of those years to sail with my family through Mexico, the South Pacific and Australia. The decision to leave everything I knew and felt comfortable with was a powerful and refreshing one, and yet with the change back to life on land, my commitment to coach again feels just as powerful, fresh and revitalizing. The bottom line is this: Change keeps us fresh. Without it, we wither, we get stale, we get small. I’m not saying that everyone should shake up their lives as drastically as I did, but I am saying that if you haven’t stepped to your edge lately, it’s time.

To begin, ask yourself this question: What have I been wanting to do? What change have I been wanting to make? Don’t worry about the answer being something that is huge, but be sure it is something that would mean a lot to you if it was done.

And forget about all the reasons why you haven’t done it until now, because beating yourself up over it won’t get you closer to making a change. One of the things I love about coaching principles is that we don’t get stuck on all the ‘stuff’ from your past, but rather embrace the saying: “Today is the first day of the rest of your life – now get to it.” Tomorrow is going to come, whether you make the change or not.

What would life be like if in fact you accomplished this thing that you’ve been wanting to do, this change you’ve been wanting to make? Spend a few minutes really thinking about that, or if writing things down is more effective for you, journal about it.

It’s time. It’s time to make a change, to keep fresh, to get big. You owe it to yourself, to those you touch, and to the world at large.

As I refresh my own career, I am committed to helping those who are ready to make important, meaningful and sustainable change, one step at a time.  Please contact me if you are one of them.

Filed Under: Change, Coaching Tagged With: ,