Grit and Gratitude

I read an article recently that compares the hero’s journey to our own journeys when we are attempting to reach a compelling goal. We start off with a seemingly insurmountable task, need to slay many dragons along the way (or pirates, as I like to call them), the tension mounts as we get closer, we feel defeated and want to give up at regular intervals, but we persevere until we reach our goals. I have linked to the full article below.

The hero’s journey, when put that way, sure feels familiar. I have stretched myself more than I could have ever imagined over the last couple of years. First, I set out as a non-sailor on a sailing adventure with my family, experiencing both physical and emotional discomforts along the way. I consistently slayed my pirates along the entire journey. Now that it’s over, I look back and realize that I accomplished my goal and got past my pirates by simply persevering because of a compelling goal in mind.  I just had to do it. I stood with my grit.

My latest stretch has been writing my first book, getting it published, and now launching it on June 4. I have slain many pirates along this path as well, and I continue to do so. Although I believe with every ounce of faith that my message is one that needs to be heard, my pirates are shouting: What if the book is an absolute disaster? What if no one cares what I have to say? What if the writing is terrible and readers don’t even get far enough to hear my message?

I will stand by my grit knowing that I am on the hero’s journey of life, with my own compelling goal being this: I must be heard. I must share what I know to be true.  My book’s message:  You must learn to slay your own pirates if you are to reach your own compelling goals.

My grit got me endorsements from big names (Neal Petersen, Diane Selkirk, Joanna Strober, and Brian Tracy), and a sponsorship from Pirates Booty for Book Expo America (where I will be autographing at booth #377 on May 30 and 31 and handing out over 500 snack bags of Pirate’s Booty!). With my compelling goal as my backdrop, I achieve little successes along the way, until I get to the end of this particular story.

But it’s not just the grit.  I could not have done what I’ve done without the kindness and generosity of those who have helped me along the way, like my book endorsers and my sponsor. It has me believe in the genuine goodness of people and the willingness of most to help others out. I am so grateful that so many have willingly helped me along the way.

I realize that it’s also gratitude that keeps me slaying pirates. My family has been on the journey with me. I have many friends who have regularly asked me how it was going and gave me encouragement and support daily. And I’m grateful for getting to do what I love.

Where to go from here on my own hero’s journey? Once a goal has been reached, we are changed for good. We have grown, and become bolder to take on the next challenge.

Read the full article referred to above:  http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/.

Who’s Your Pirate – Part II

How you navigate your Pirates, the negative self-talk that stands between you and your dreams, is key to reaching your goals. The first step, however, is to identify which Pirates have latched onto you. While there are many excuses that our Pirates give us to maintain the status quo, all can generally fit within one of the following five categories:

1. That’s just the way it is or that’s just the way it’s done. As in: You’re stuck here. There’s a real sense of struggle and sacrifice in this mantra. It’s full of martyrdom. It makes you a victim of your circumstances. And it’s saying: Who are you to think that things could be different? You’re not special. Nor are you lucky, like all the really successful people who actually live their dreams.

2. You don’t have enough. As in: You don’t have enough time for this, especially not now. You don’t have the resources, the knowledge, the wherewithal, the money, the support. While the successful people have all those things, it’s unrealistic to think you’ll ever get them.

3. You’re not enough. As in: You’re not smart enough (or as smart as all those other successful people are). You’re not good enough to do this. You especially are not entitled to this. What have you done to deserve this? You are simply not worthy enough and besides, you’re already not successful enough. Who are you to think anyone will listen to you? Or go along with you?

4. You shouldn’t. As in: You are so selfish for wanting this. Your family (or your boss, or the organization, or someone or something else) needs you, and you’d be letting them down. They are relying on you, and you are a terrible person for abandoning them.

5. Your dream is just too insignificant to matter. As in: There are far greater issues facing this planet (like starving kids in Africa). Who are you to think your dream is important? You are so self-absorbed for wanting such a ridiculous thing.

I am willing to bet that one of those Pirate voices shows up in your head to insist that you have no right to be making a change. It keeps us in the status-quo, and therefore, to a certain extent, our Pirates protect us — from failure and discomfort. While it keeps us comfortable, however, it tricks us into thinking that we should not or could not do what we really want to do.

Which Pirate or Pirates show up most in your life? What have those Pirates stopped you from doing? What are those Pirates costing you?

Putting It Out There Takes My Breath Away

I just spent a very full weekend writing my book during the Bestseller in A Weekend Boot Camp. The webinar allowed me to sit in the comfort of my own office, and was so intense that I barely had time to go to the bathroom, let alone eat. While my self-care suffered afterward, the inspiration and excitement I got from it was worth every penny, every uncomfortable moment. I feel energized and excited to get my book written. And the end result is so compelling for me that it literally takes my breath away. That doesn’t even take into account the fact that I’ve now announced it to the world, and therefore am feeling that I MUST get it done.  In. The. Next. Six. Months. (Okay Barbara, now Breathe…).

Which leads me to the subject of my book: Right now, the working title is: Sailing to Success: 7 Steps to Creating Your Courageous Change (Lessons Learned from Sailing the Pacific). By the title, you’ll get that it will integrate my family’s sailing adventures of 2009-2012 together with how one gets past barriers to do what you really want, even when it takes your breath away to even think about it. Or when your negative self talk says it’s impossible. Or that it’s ridiculous. Or whatever other things it says to you.

Over the next few months I’ll be enlisting you, my readers, to help me with case studies, surveys, opinions and ideas to include as content for the book. Let me know if you have any burning questions you’d like answered around the topic. What do you think of the title of the book?  Would you buy it? I’ll be asking questions that may have yes/no answers, or others that are more open-ended. Please share your thoughts with me – I strongly believe that your comments will help others. To start with, take this survey on how you, personally, get to making an important change.

And now for the first tips to making your Big Change: Announce it to the world. Once you are scraped up off the floor and resuscitated, there is nothing like it to motivate you to get started.